The Psychology of Selling

One of my favorite quotes on the subject of sales psychology is from David Sandler, the founder of Sandler Training. David said, “Selling is a Broadway play performed by a psychiatrist” What David meant by that statement is that buying is an emotional experience for the prospect and far too often even MORE emotional for the salesperson.

Selling is, in many ways, very similar to a visit to a psychiatrist, therapist or psychologist. When someone sits down with a professional in such a counseling session it is essential that the professional allow the patient to get emotionally engaged and in touch with his or her issues while maintaining their own emotional neutrality. In sales this means that we want the prospect to become emotionally engaged with their “pain” or needs while not allowing ourselves to also become emotionally engaged in the selling process.

While not allowing ourselves to become emotionally involved in the sales process seems obvious at an intellectual level it is not quite so simple in practical application. Frequently predispositions such as the need to be liked, the need for approval, or the fear of rejection can make the act of staying emotionally neutral a big challenge. Planning ahead for such emotional challenges is a great first step to increasing our ability to remain emotionally neutral in the selling process.

One of the other important applications of psychology in selling comes from the repurposing of what many of us learned as “The Golden Rule.” In our home the Golden Rule was to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In selling we repurpose that rule as “do unto others as THEY would have you do unto THEM”

This subtle yet highly important change in phrasing means that if we flex our style of communication to be more aligned with how our prospects prefer to be communicated with we will have a higher level of success versus just communicating with everyone in the style we are most comfortable with.

Few people argue with the statement “all things being equal people do business with people they like and trust. All things being unequal people will STILL try to do business with people they like and trust.” By flexing our communication style to be more in line with our prospect’s style we instantly become more likeable.

This means that if I am someone who is not particularly chatty and just want a bullet point proposal in as short a time as possible you won’t be as effective employing a style that goes through every single item in mind numbing detail after first talking for 10 minutes about what you did over the weekend. That is just one example but the point is, we tend like other people that are like us. Flexing your communication style does NOT mean being phony or fake it simply means being sensitive to the preferred style of the prospect.

These are just a couple of the ways that psychology is critical to the selling process. While I don’t think a degree in psychology is a preferred pre-requisite for sales professionals a solid understanding of human nature, both our own and others, is incredibly valuable.